The Ghetto Simulator is a six pitch route on the west side of the North Face of Garden Creek Gap, most commonly climbed as a mixed route in winter. The climb is slightly less sustained, but no less fun, than the challenging routes on the central face.
I guess I’ve been nipped with Gap fever. Maybe I’ve watched too many Scottish winter climbing videos, or perhaps the local ice conditions have been reluctant to form up, or perhaps I’d really rather be in Cody but my work-play schedule has favored single day excursions leaving me scratching up icy cliffs doing my best Jeff Mercier impression. In the week proceeding Jed Porter and I’s adventure on Agri-Alpinism, my maiden voyage at the Gap, I’ve been frothing for another go. Agri-Alpinism just felt slightly too strenuous, leaving cravings for a smoother outing with an emphasis on precision and style. My partner for the day was Scott Melin, and our original intention was the ultra-moderate Breakfast Scramble (M3, III) route up the center of the face. However, after unseasonably warm conditions and a ripping rainstorm on our 2.5 hour commute to Arimo, Breakfast Scramble, which grovels directly up one of the main weaknesses on the face, was spewing with fresh water. Maybe 37 degrees should have stopped us in our tracks but no – we were here to climb. We lapped the formation looking for a different line that didn’t involve getting soaked to the bone and decided on the Ghetto Simulator. The first ascentionists Eric Barnard and Jeff Giese left a rudimentary topo in the comment section of the Garden Greek Gap Mountain Project area page, with a singular scratchy yellow line on a pixelated image that left only the vaguest of clues to the route. It took us longer than reasonable to find the base, but around 10:00AM we long jumped the creek, thrashed through the obligatory thick willows and began our scrappy journey to the sky.
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The first two pitches of Ghetto Simulator represent all the technical difficulties, making the route far less committing than its neighbors of likewise difficulty. The first pitch follows a low angle left facing ramp system for 55 meters. In dry conditions the pitch goes at cryptic M2-3, and as winter progresses it will likely get devoured by firm snow making the climbing quite routine save for a few cruxes. We had a short pane of water ice for tip-toeing straight off the ground which kept style points high. Towards the rope’s end the crux pitch reveals itself as the most attractive and obvious break heading towards the top of the rock buttress, about 15-20 meters below the end of the ramp, just above a burnt tree. From a science project belay constructed with three thin wires and a knifeblade, our second lead climbed the obvious weakness through two distinct M4-M5 cruxes. The first was a steep and physical corner with attractive splitter cracks that offered a wide variety of movement and abundant protection. I managed to take my first winter mixed fall here, when a thawed turf pod foothold sheered off the wall. Fortunately I had overhead protection and a leashed tool hooked over a chockstone, so my plunge was all of a harmless 12 inches. I lowered to the same stance sans pod and continued the lead clean with nothing more than a bruised left knee and sore ego – we’ll call it a fair turf-point. The second crux involved an awkward entrance to a flared corner with uninspiring protection in an icy crack. After a perfect nut wiggled out with slightest uphill tug I welded a knifeblade into a horizontal seam that left bolt protected confidence. This tricky pitch finished on a roomy belay ledge with outstanding views of the Gap and Arimo beyond, and even more welcomed sights to gentler terrain above. Scott followed with remarkable pace considering his lack of winter mixed climbing experience – alll that early season dry tooling paid off!
The remainder of the route was three pitches of snow and mossy slabs up the prominent left trending couloir, to the same finishing moderate mixed pitch (M4) of Agri-Alpinism. This last pitch is too rad, with a step-around the uppermost ridge crest that reveals the full extent of the Gap’s remarkable vertical exposure. We topped out the route around the five hour mark and descended to the car by the sixth.
A Short Reflection
Once again, the Gap provides! Much of my reflection on Ghetto Simulator centered around my short fall. As my knee bruised over the coming days I shuddered at the feeling of the turf pod blowing beneath my feet, seemingly in a fraction of a second. Falling on winter routes is never in one’s best interest, but in this case at least I was adequately protected. The impetus of the fall wasn’t a lack of skill but rather naive oversight. The weather was just above freezing, and had been so for days, leaving all vegetation thawed and suspect. On a colder day the moss clump almost certainly would have taken my weight, but this day it sheered off like a flimsy houseplant. In the future I will remain more vigilant to conditions and adjust my decisions accordingly. Otherwise, Ghetto Simulator was an excellent light hearted adventure with one difficult but well-protected crux pitch, perfect for climbers breaking into the grade or new to the Gap. I left the original M4 grade intact on my topo to pay respect to Gap standards, equally acknowledging my quartzite mixed game could be lacking, but I think the double cruxes would probably be M5 in Hyalite Canyon. As for Scott, well, he never ceases to impress me! He’s quite new to the winter rock climbing game but seems to be adapting quickly. I bet he’ll be taking the Gap sharp end any time now.
Climber’s Notes – Rack and Resources
For protection we carried a single rack of cams from thin fingers to three inches, a bounty of wires, two tricams and few thin pitons. This rack served us well. The piton I placed on pitch two remains fixed (and should be left fixed, as the FA used a pin in the same spot), otherwise there is no fixed gear on route. A four inch cam could probably be placed on pitch two but is not necessary. A 60M rope is ideal for the long first pitch. Mountain Project and Ten Thousand Too Far are the only resource for winter climbs at the Gap.
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DISCLAIMER
Ski mountaineering, rock climbing, ice climbing and all other forms of mountain recreation are inherently dangerous. Should you decide to attempt anything you read about in this article, you are doing so at your own risk! This article is written to the best possible level of accuracy and detail, but I am only human – information could be presented wrong. Furthermore, conditions in the mountains are subject to change at any time. Ten Thousand Too Far and Brandon Wanthal are not liable for any actions or repercussions acted upon or suffered from the result of this article’s reading.
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Way to go lads. Ya go- Scots’ bloo- in ya!
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Ya go – brilliant – the Scots inspire!
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